My French Doors

On the deck is

the metal furniture I put together

the tables and chairs

and the dead flower pots

void of life at this time

beyond the deck

on the dead grass thats

only slightly green still,

is the dead rose bushes

adorning the sides of the arbor

-I even put that together

the old yellow shed

and the new blue pool

brown on the bottom with leaves

I look out to the fence and

Beyond the lifeless trees

a black outline aginst the sky,

I see the car lot’s roof first

the copper of Kickapoo Corners

just maybe I can see the gym roof 

I can always see the hospital,

the brown block in the background,

but never the school

even though I know it’s there

actually, its spring here so the trees are blocking...

Of Lavender

Lavender is the

gentle color that

 graces my walls and

watches my slumber

the gentle color

that adorns mornings

sky and sleepy grace

of evenings soft clouds

lavender has the

soft light entranced

a child to sleep

in arms maternal

a fond color that

gentle lavender

e.e. cummings

Who pays any attention,

to the frantic actions

that you take?

To dress up in hopes of

Love? Nay, I say attention.

You starved beast,

to crave attention

in the wrong ways

Then who pays attention?





I have found what you are like,

Or, at least I think I have,

Do I finally understand?

I’d say not, you elude me still,

a down feather to the wind.

I look to my satisfaction and

fancy my own things, I

 come to my conclusions of

 what you are like,

Without truly finding you and

lie myself to believe that farce I create,

for you are not like that which I've "found".

Memorable Passage

 I believe that the most memorable passage I know is the opening paragraph of The Hobbit.

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”

I don’t know why, it just is. I remember first reading that passage, it was on a Sunday. My friend Ruth was reading a book so I grabbed it and read the first paragraph aloud in an odd accent. So fun, - especially her face. I asked her what the book was and she told me it was the Hobbit. Then I proceeded to requote the paragraph again (and correctly I might add). Then at school the librarians had the book on the counter for display so I picked it up and read it aloud again. Mrs. B thought it was funny and said I should read the whole book aloud for them. Then for about a month I’d requote the reading again randomly. Then before my birthday I got the book, The Hobbit and finally got to read the whole story-which was very good I might add. I guess the reason I remember it was because of the complete randomness of it and how I first read it.

I can't think...

I can’t think. I don’t know what to write. I look around the room, up at the dark ceiling and out the windows at the top of the wall. Still nothing. I try to recall what happened at lunch and reminisce. Nope no good, the memories fade before they form in my head. I don’t really want to read, I don’t want to play my DS all that much. Well, I do but I need to type and write, to get caught up and stuff; but I can’t think. My lower body is starting to feel disconnected like a weird vapor instead of a solid structure. Now my arms are too hot, I need to roll my sleeves up or I’ll sweat. Still no thoughts to write, just this odd monologue. I don’t want to study about Taiwan later; I don’t want to have to get a tri-fold for it either. I do want to go home and sleep. I can’t think and times almost up, the music in my ears drowns out the class and thoughts that might form. I just don’t know how to start, that’s the hardest part sometimes. My mind keeps pace with the words, the tune the sounds from the music. I’m just not inspired. Great, now they’re getting loud and are getting up. I hate that, it’s so nerve wracking. I just want to go home, get on my bike and go down to the beach. Oh wait, this is Missouri, not Two Rivers. I just want to chill outdoors there but they probably still have snow on the ground. Ah, and there’s the bell. Oh well, I’ll try to type later. Not at home though that’s for sure. I can really be a lazey bum somtimes. I still can't think...

Cut up songs

Just know you're not alone,

I'm going to make this place a home

And he's long gone

I guess I like that,

and all that counts

is here and now.

I heard songs

when he was next to me.

The sun goes down,

the stars come out,

so settle down

it'll all be clear.